She peered over the stone cold ledge of the feldspar balcony as the newly birthed wind trained through the waves of her hair- debating whether or not to go before the rain hit. The sun was masked in a combination of thick fog and ominous grey nimbus clouds, it was just morning. Already in the sleek wetsuit with her mind made up, she trotted down the spiral staircase that led to the planked back porch of the two story house. Freshly waxed 6'4'' lime green edged in yellow and red Rusty quickly leashed to her left ankle and rightly placed horizontally under her arm as if it was an every day routine.
Unlocking the waist high latch of the outward swinging gate, she started towards the 'hole', nobody ever went there and it was just off the reef- she expected good sets. She watched the unrelenting drops burst from the masses in the horizon into the ever besieging sea with no intentions of being apopemptic nearing, but not denting her decision. The unceasing sea had been the only thing that could ever pull every ounce of her soul out in one shot. She always tried for morning rides, it was easier to ace and let free. The backwash from the previous waves welcomed her tan blank feet in a more seductive way than anything she'd ever known and she let the series of small swells carry her towards the storm. The bitterness would have been uncomfortable for others, the pangs of cold morning February water was a pain she only ever enjoyed.
She hadn't been able to see her feet from the time she starting paddling, an unpredictable and fair act of the ocean she had never preferred but dealt with. It wasn't her territory, she had always been a wanderer. Straddling the board, feet dangling over the sides despite the small conscious fear in the back of her mind. The wind was starting to rise and the small swells were becoming small chops that turned to white dissolving residue, no hope of any good waves anytime soon. She wasn't disappointed, she understood the way the sea worked, the way it did as it pleased. There wasn't one person in sight.
An overwhelming gust pushed through, springing up razor-like spritz of the short lived waves against her face. The sting, the pain, the flood of memories in every tingle. It tasted like June and felt like October. Distracted by the continuous sprays, she hadn't realized that the sky was letting loose. Surrounded by darkness, even in the morning. First instinct would normally be to paddle in, but not this time. Naturally well balanced, she lie with the back of her head on the board, staring straight up into the demon of the sky without a flicker of the eyelids, with her shoulders flat and legs overlapping each other as Zeus cried his violent tears.
The Rusty flipped as did she, the once small swells became enraged, dragging her out and to the bottom of the ocean floor where she could see the armies of aged sand race in circles around her- the salt had never burned her eyes. She let it take her, engulf her without a fight. There had been so much struggle with everything else and it was time to let go. She came out of the wetsuit and undid the leash, knowing they would float to the top. It was pleasant in that moment, life. Pleasant to watch the residue of earth dance before her, pleasant to feel the rush of water run through every part of her flesh, pleasant to taste the salt again. She had lost her saltiness and had no desire to resurface. She closed her eyes, grabbed a fistful of sand, and exhaled one last time. She let down hair for the first.
